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I'm gonna be hypnotized

To stop me from smoking
Everyone keeps telling me
It's bad for my voice
I'm gonna stay home tonight
So I don't get hung over
Get myself a takeaway
And watch MTV

This is not a confessional song
I'm just singing to myself
My situation didn't leave me strong
Everybody needs a little help

Got myself a little dog (Sasha)
She's 18 weeks old now
Guess she's just a substitute
But I don't know what for
I was born a Catholic
(poor old Father Delaney)
Now I'm on a guilt trip
That I try to suppress


When you're weary, feelin' small, 

when tears are in your eyes, I'll dry them all.
I'm on your side oh, when times get rough and friends just can't be found.
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down.

When you're down and out, when you're on the street,
when evening falls so hard I will comfort you.
I'll take your part, oh, when darkness comes and pain is all around.
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down.

Sail on silver girl, sail on by.
Your time has come to shine. All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine, Oh, if you need a freiend I'm sailing right behind.
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind.